It might seem to you as if your senior doesn’t really have a leg to stand on when it comes to giving up driving. You might feel as if you have plenty of evidence to support what you’re saying, but if your senior is still pushing back, she might be doing so for one of these reasons.
She Honestly Sees No Reason to Debate This
The biggest reason your elderly family member might not want to talk about driving or give it up is because she honestly doesn’t believe that this is something that you need to talk about right now. She may be firmly entrenched in the belief that her driving is the same as it has always been and that there’s no reason for you to be concerned at all. This can be true even if there’s plenty of outside evidence to support what you’re saying.
She Wants to Hang onto Some Control
Control can be a big issue for some older adults. If your elderly family member feels like she’s losing control in some areas, she’s going to fight to maintain it wherever she can. By being the one to decide when she stops driving, or if she even does stop driving, she’s still got some level of control in this situation. Finding other ways for her to have choice and some measure of control is probably a good idea.
She Really Wants to Stay Independent
While control is a big concern, your senior may also be interested in holding onto as much independence as she can for as long as she can. This is slightly different from control, because she may be thinking more about how being able to drive allows her to do as she pleases whenever the urge strikes. Knowing that she doesn’t have to get permission to go somewhere or clear a trip with you or someone else can be an important part of her continuing to maintain independence, even if she’s not the one driving.
She Really, Really Doesn’t Want to Be Wrong
For some seniors, being wrong about something just feels impossible. This might be the case if your elderly family member has always had all the answers throughout her lifetime. She may feel as if she’s better informed about her own driving than you are, regardless of what’s really going on. The urge to be right can be a very strong one.
It’s best to clear up any confusion with your senior as soon as possible. Just because you’re nervous about her driving, that doesn’t mean you’re trying to force her to stay home. Work with her to find a solution, like hiring homecare providers to do the driving for her.