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5 Myths About Grief

Older adults are at a point in their lives where they may experience grief more frequently than they did when they were younger. Some of the things that may cause seniors to grieve are the loss of friends and spouses to death, having to move out of their homes, and retiring from a job they enjoyed. People grieve in different ways, so there’s not a right way for your aging relative to go through the process.

Home Care Sebastopol CA - 5 Myths About Grief

Home Care Sebastopol CA – 5 Myths About Grief

Unfortunately, there are lots of misconceptions out there about grieving that can be harmful. Knowing the truth about these 5 myths can help family caregivers to assist older adults through grief more effectively.

Myth #1: Grief Happens in a Linear Fashion

Truth: Back in 1968, the book On Death and Dying was published. In it, the author described grief in 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In writing the book, the author interviewed people who were dying. She did not, however, talk to people who were grieving a loss. Still, readers of the book from all over the world applied the stages of grief to those who were bereaved and not just the dying. As a result, people got the impression that grieving a loss happens in a linear pattern and ends when the final stage is reached. However, that’s not always the case. Your aging relative’s feelings might bounce back and forth between stages even after they reach acceptance.

Myth #2: If You’re Strong and Ignore the Pain, It Will Go Away Faster

Truth: Ignoring feelings or trying to be “strong” in the face of pain may temporarily stuff the feelings down, but it won’t make them go away. True healing requires facing feelings and dealing with them. In addition, trying to be “strong” gives others the impression that it’s not okay to feel sad, which isn’t helpful either.

Myth #3: Women Experience Grief More Keenly Than Men

Truth: Grief can sometimes be more obvious in women because they often show their emotions more than men do. Men, especially those of older generations, are sometimes taught that showing their emotions is a weakness. As a result, it might look like women grieve more, but the truth is that men grieve just as much.

Myth #4: Grieving Pets Is Silly

Truth: People who have not had pets or who aren’t animal lovers might think it’s ridiculous when an older adult grieves the death of a pet. However, there’s nothing wrong with it. Pets are loyal companions that offer unconditional love, so when they die, it can be extremely painful. It can be particularly hard for older adults who live alone and have only their pet for company.

Myth #5: Home Care Can’t Help with Grief

Truth: Home care providers can assist your aging relative while they are grieving. They can be a source of comfort and companionship that boosts the senior’s mood. Home care providers can also offer encouragement when the older adult is feeling low. Since grieving can cause physical symptoms, such as fatigue and headaches, a home care provider can allow them to rest while they assist with household tasks, like cleaning and cooking.

Sources:  https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-grief/201808/five-common-myths-about-grief

If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring Home Care Services in Sebastopol CA, call At Your Service Home Care.  Call today! (707) 573-1003

Lucy Andrews DNP, RN, MS

In 1988, after working as a clinical nurse in the University Health System at UC San Francisco, Lucy Andrews started understanding home care.

She became a discharge planner and immediately fell in love with the concept of home care and the autonomous clinical practice it affords nurses. Dr. Lucy was hooked and has been a strong supporter of home care ever since.Believing people need advocates in healthcare systems, she has championed that cause across the acute care and post-acute care setting.

Dr. Lucy has worked in every aspect of home care from Medicare Certified, DME, Infusion, Hospice and finally Private Duty/Private Pay services. She also works as a home care consultant across the country and as a legal nurse consultant for the home care industry.

Having worked in all areas of home care, Dr. Lucy has a well-rounded perspective of the challenges facing patients, families and the home care industry, and as a provider she advocates for patients through the maze of health care services. Dr. Lucy celebrated over 37 years as a nurse and patient advocate.

Dr. Lucy has a Baccalaureate Degree in Nursing from Lewis University, Romeoville, Illinois.In 1994, she received her Masters of Science in Health Service Administration from St. Mary's University, Moraga, California. Dr. Lucy received her Doctor of Nursing Practice awarded in 2016, graduating with Distinction and a 4.0 GPA.

She did her doctoral work on the global dementia crisis, aging and prevention strategies for healthy living. Developed dementia and Alzheimer's disease plans for aging patients leaving the hospital setting or entering long-term care or home health and hospice environments. She also developed a specialized program for those at risk for dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

In 1992, Dr. Lucy was designated CAHSAH Certified Home Care Administrator in the inaugural offering of this designation through the California Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH).

She is the founder and CEO of Creative Solutions Home Care Consulting Services and At Your Service Nursing & Home Care, a concierge nursing & home care agency that provides the services she believes are essential for seniors to age in place.She offers a higher level of care allowing people to be in their own homes with an emphasis on independence, safety, and quality of life.

Dr. Lucy is the Vice Chair of the Board of Directors for the National Association for Home Care and Hospice (NAHC) and sits on the Board of Directors for California Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH).

She has served on the boards for both state and national board associations, and is currently on the following boards and committees: Board of Directors, California State Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH), 2002-present, National Association for Home Care and Hospice (NAHC's) Private Duty Home Care Association Director, and multiple state and national home care committees.

Dr. Lucy goes to Washington, DC, several times a year to advocate for senior services and home care issues. She was past Commissioner for the Sonoma Commission on Human Rights.She is past chair of the local Senior Advocacy Services.

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